I don’t know about you but I have had a fantastic week this week! The most important part of it being that my gorgeous tattoo guy and I have decided to work on making a great relationship stronger rather than walking away 😁😁😁. Lots to look forward to! (Squeaks with delight!)
The other great thing that happened was that I got to enjoy some much needed me time this week. Thanks to my mum and sisters for helping out with my son this week. Even though I wasn’t on holiday myself, it made a huge difference. I can tell you that letting go of the reins and entrusting others with my son and, in other cases, me has not come easy for me. You see I am a control freak.😜 (Chang…Chang…channnng!)
Yip, I said it. It has taken me virtually all my life to realise that too. The great thing is that now that I know, I can make different decisions everyday that are actually liberating for me. When my son was born, I was determined to be the best mum I could be like all mothers but I was also determined that my son would not have the same hang-ups that I do. I was so determined to protect him and shield him from life that I didn’t let anyone in to help me with him. I am a single mom. This is a challenge on a good day but of course I had to add to my challenges by shutting everyone out while I try and control every aspect of my son’s life as well as my own. My little family was fast becoming an island. My dad once reminded me many years before that no man is an island. I hadn’t realised it yet butthat’s exactly where I found myself to be and let me tell you, an island is a lonely place to be.
The thing about isolating yourself is that you are isolating yourself from the people who love you and want to help. I used to see the bewildered looks on my families faces whenever I pushed them away but I was so caught up in my need to control everything and be strong that I didn’t really notice how it affected them. I wanted to do it my way and make my own mistakes. I believed I was protecting my son but I wasn’t. I have learnt that children are resilient. What’s key is that we have to let them face life’s knocks head on and be there to guide them through the resulting emotions and thoughts that will inevitably result. This way they develop a healthy dose of resilience towards life knocks and are better able to see the silver lining around any dark clouds that might float their way.
Accepting that I can’t control every aspect of his life and that I actually shouldn’t has not being easy but it has been rewarding. Everyday I get to watch him evolve into being a more patient, more understanding and more tolerant individual who is curious about life and is excited to face each day and all it may bring. He is by no means perfect and never will be by society’s standards and thank goodness for that too. He would be such a boring character if he were!
Now that I am not shutting people out and am able to entrust others with him, I am also rewarded with seeing the joy on their faces after spending time with him and hearing it in their voices. He is such a character that he definitely leaves his mark on everyone that he comes into contact with. In fact life has gotten easier in some ways because now that I have let others in and have allowed them share the load, my life has gotten easier. “Trust” and “Faith” are the two words that I have learnt to embrace as well as “Acceptance”. These three are interlinked and, have the ability to bring peace inside in this chaotic world. Trying to control things will probably be my instinct more often than not but that’s ok because it will no longer be my only instinct.
If, like me, you are a control freak, consider loosening the reins a little bit at a time. There will always be people that will disappoint you but there will be more people who will be delighted to be let in and will bring a richness to your life experience that is not possible when you live in a safe bubble. Go on. Give it a shot.😉
Hope you have a great week! If you enjoy reading my blogs, please follow me so that you don’t miss out.
Bye for now